The teenage years can be a hormonal roller coaster. One moment, you’re exuberant and energetic, the next you’re crying with your face in a pillow and no idea why. We often deal with several relationship problems, either in the form of friendships, parents, family, significant others…you name it.
For some reason, we teens are in love with being in love.
We’re constantly in search of new information about who is with who, and who is interested in who. We yearn for the sense of warmth and companionship that someone you’re attracted to can bring.
This feeling isn’t a bad thing at all, but too often we base too many things off of relationships. If you break up, your marks may plummet. If you’re having a fight, you’ll be up all night analyzing the reasons why with your friends. If you aren’t being noticed, you wonder what’s wrong with yourself.
I’m here to let you know that it is perfectly fine to be single, and that you are capable of being happy instead of lonely on your own.
You may be rolling your eyes at the screen wondering how on earth this could be. Humans in general are sociable creatures, aren’t we? While this is true, I feel that too few adolescents truly value alone time. We’re so blinded by the need to be needed by another person that we don’t see how the teenage years are the best time for self growth, emotionally and morally.
We have the freedom to not worry yet about paying rent, having a stable income and taking care of your children. Teens can experiment with new hobbies and ideas, make as many different friends as we’d like and wear whichever clothes we’d like to express our identities. We can sing loudly and horribly in the shower, dance crazily in our rooms to our favorite music, and be a part of as many clubs and teams that tickle our fancies. Your confidence should never only stem out of what your boyfriend or girlfriend says about you. Find pride in other things that you do well.
Do you write beautiful poetry, love applying math to real life, or are you an exceptional public speaker?
In short, all these accomplishments and activities don’t need to be done with other people. When you grow and mature and discover aspects of your personality, it is a process that can only be done on your own. Being assured by your crush that you are beautiful and unique is always welcome of course, but knowing that on your own is even more important. Utilize your alone time and think about what kind of person you are and what kind of person you dream to be. Act upon those ambitions and try and make your dream a possibility. Be confident in your own appearance (admit it, we all have at least one favorite part of ourselves physically) and devote your time to pursuing your interests.
Knowing what your passions are is critical to you feeling like you’re leading a successful and fulfilling life.
If your only interest is in your significant other, everything that they say or do will be exponentially more important to you. For example, you may feel heightened feelings of jealousy if you think they are spending lots of time with your friends but not paying enough attention to you, and will consequently make assumptions that may not be true about what it could mean and start to hate yourself.
If two people are with each other solely for the reason that they need to use someone else to bolster their own self esteem, that is the foundation for a shallow love. It’s not fair to your partner if this is the case, because you aren’t loving them for all of their aspects as an individual. In a healthy relationship, both sides should respect the need for alone time and differing interests of the other.
Before you fall in love with someone else, always remember to fall in love with yourself first.