“He’s dated both of us before and now I feel like they’re both using me in the friendship and it hurts. I don’t know what to do anymore…should I just drop both of them?”
No matter how old you are romantic relationships are always confusing, and when you throw friends into the mix, it only gets more complicated. When you care about someone, nothing hurts more than your belief that they don’t care for you back, and this goes for both romantic interests and friends.
This kind of situation is not easy to deal with and it’s okay if you struggle with what to do, after all you’re human too! It can be especially difficult when you understand you deserve better but you don’t want to lose people who are important to you.
It’s a scary thing to go through when you have to choose between what’s good for you and what’s the familiar and ‘safe’ thing to do, namely keeping around people out of habit even if they hurt you.
That said, people faced with their feelings sometimes have a hard time thinking of others. It might not be their intention to hurt you, but it’s possible that they are just so consumed by their feelings that they are blinded by them. In that case, it may help for you to try and talk to them about how you’ve been feeling recently. Sometimes people just need a wake up call! However, if this is something you’ve tried to no avail, it might be time to move on.
Relationships in all forms are very important, but so is taking care of yourself! At times like this, it might be beneficial to talk to a trusted friend or adult and work things through with them to see what’s really best for you. Of course, if you’re struggling to find someone like that, we are always here for a one-on-one chat, as well. It can be lonely to let go of people, but if you believe you’ve honestly tried to make it work and it just hasn’t, it might be easier on you to find better people in your life.
Don’t forget that your life is just beginning, and that in reality people will always come and go.
It’s a hard journey finding people that will be with you for a long time, but the difficulty of finding them will help you treasure them more when you do find them, and you will one day because people always do in the end!