Relationships can seem overwhelming, with so many new and exciting emotions it can be frustrating trying to work through them all. It’s totally ok to feel uncomfortable at how fast it’s all happening, that’s super normal.
It sounds like you’re very self-aware so listening to what your instincts are telling you is always a good thing. If for no other reason, it gets you to question things when things don’t feel right, even if you don’t know the reason, talking about it will help you get to the bottom of it. Communication is key with all types of relationships, when you’re able to talk about your feelings, that says a lot about the person who is listening. In sharing how you feel with the person you’re close to can help show the other person you’re open to creating a safe space not just for you but for them as well. There will come a time when your guy might need to come to you for help with something he’s struggling with. Would talking to him about how you feel something you could see yourself doing? You know yourself best, if you want to slow it down and take your time, you’re allowed to choose that for yourself without feeling guilty.
We are all allowed to make choices best for who we are. If your guy cares and respects you, it will show through in the way he is willing to help work towards a solution, it can make both of you happy. This means your guy will want what you want, to help in any way he can for you feel safe and secure not just for now but down the road if your relationship gets more serious. It shows he has respect not only as a couple but for you as a person. Talking about how you feel can set the stage for what will inevitably come later, you won’t always on agree on everything. When that happens, you’ll be able to work it out, knowing that it takes both of you to come up with a solution. It won’t always work but if both of you give each other the ability to be heard and without judgement, this is the safe space you can both share how u feel. When you feel heard and work together to work out why or how to feel better you’ll feel that comfort you’re looking for. Your relationship can go in the direction your relationship was meant to.
It’s important to keep in mind that nothing between you and your guy is set in stone, there is always a way to way to work something out even if it means you might have to go in separate directions which can happen but doesn’t mean it will.
Have you considered going on one or more group dates with friends? It can be helpful with what you talk about when there is more than just the two of you hanging out together. If, when it’s just the two of you and it feels like you have to decide how to keep seeing each other, things like whether to move in with each other or meeting the parents or giving into going to the same college/university as your guy are all huge decisions at such an early time in relationship. Another option is to just see less of one another so you have more to talk about when you do get together. You have a very valid reason to take a step back and get to know each first, but even if none of these are the reasons you feel you rushed into a relationship, then that’s ok too. It’s always ok to do what you need to do so you are comfortable with who you are with.
Talking it out with your friends or someone you feel close to, even chatting with us online, or texting us at (587) 333-2724 during peer support hours (which can be found on the website). You can also call us at 24/7 at (403)264-TEEN (8336). Our trained volunteers are here because they care about people like you and want to support you in whatever you decide to do.
