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Peer Talk

I lost my best friend. How can I get her back? I miss her.

Losing a best friend can be incredibly tough to handle. Any of us might end up feeling quite depressed from this for a very long time. Losing a friend can also occur in many different ways – you might have fought with them and now you don’t talk even though you go to the same school or live in the same neighbourhood. Or it could be a different form of losing, where your best friend had moved away. Or perhaps you’ve lost your friend without having argued or fought with them at all – as times change, perhaps you guys had simply drifted apart and you are no longer so close with each other.

Regardless of what happened, you can have many common feelings about what happened. You might end up re-living the times we shared with our best friends in our heads from time to time. You might feel very guilty of the mistakes we had made. You might regret not having talked to them to sort out the misunderstandings. You might think we’ll never have someone to share our secrets like with that friend did ever again. It might be hard to talk to new people because you don’t feel the same sense of understanding and connection with them and because they can’t relate to how you’re feeling. Those feelings can leave a heavy feeling on your chest. They are, after all, very common thoughts to have, although it can be very draining to cope with what can feel like an endless depression.

We’re really glad you decided to ask this question because the most important thing to do in this situation is to talk about what’s going on. Do you have any other friends that you could share your thoughts with? What about a trusted family member? Sometimes, hearing another perspective on the situation will inspire you to think of new solutions or ideas you might’ve not considered earlier.

Most importantly, if you still can still contact the friend in some way, being honest and straightforward about the fact you miss them can open up a new conversation. If you miss them, perhaps your best friend might miss you as well. Depending on what led you to lose them, you might be able to repair the friendship and renew it so that you’re closer than ever before. It can take a little bit of courage to initiate this conversation, but the results can be so amazing.

Yet, you might have a situation where you and your friend do not reconnect. We can’t guarantee that every lost friendship can be repaired. Unfortunately, it can be just as normal for you and your friend to move on in your lives. This thought can seem very tragic and might be very difficult to swallow, especially at a time where you crave their presence so much. But whether or not you can rekindle your friendship with them, there will definitely be good memories and lessons you can take away from the friendship. What you learned by losing this valuable person in the first place can lead you to become a better friend so that you will create friendships even more rewarding than this one. The future holds so many possibilities for what can happen.

We would love to hear more about what your situation is like though. Please don’t hesitate to call as at 403-264-TEEN, chat with us online, or text us at 587-333-2724. Never forget that you deserve to feel heard and to be related to.

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