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Peer Talk

My best friend and I have a really dependent relationship. How can we make our relationship better?

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Hey, thanks for your question! Friendships can be really tough to maintain, especially when you grow to be dependent on each other. It sounds like you are a really good friend by seeking help to make your friendship stronger and healthier.

Sometimes, we avoid talking openly with important people in our life because we don’t want to hurt another person’s feelings. Talking openly is really crucial to a relationship to make sure you are both feeling happy and safe with each other; so it is important to open that line of communication with your friend. This is one way you might be able to make your friendship healthier, as having a safe and respectful conversation about your concerns (and theirs) ensures you both see the relationship in the same way, and still get your needs fulfilled.

Also, growing up can sometimes mean growing apart in your personality and your interests.  This may play a part in your friendship together, depending on how long you have been friends, and it is OK!!!. It is also important to branch out and maintain other friendships too, so that you can both have parts of your lives that are separate from each other. It’s very possible to have other friends and relationships but still stay best friends.

Topics of conversation is another issue that can arise when you have no time apart from each other. It can be harder to find things to say because you have been together the whole time! So, sometimes spending time apart brings you together by giving you the chance to miss each other, giving you things to talk about, and a new found interest in each other’s lives.

In spending time apart with your friend, you might be able to do something for your own interest and self-care, as well as giving yourself some time to reflect on the relationship. Appreciating the value that your friend brings to your life, and also reflect on how you would like to see the relationship evolve and develop is essential. Find the ways the relationship feels stressful to you and communicate your needs openly, as it may be the case that your perception in the relationship is shared with your friend, but neither has said anything.

Thanks again for writing us, and if you are looking for more support know that we are here for you. You can text us at (587) 333-2724 or access our online chat on our website. You can also call us at (403) 264-8336 at any time. Our peer support hours (where you get to talk to another teen) are also available on our website. Any of our volunteers here would be happy to talk to you.

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