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Living up to older siblings

Author: Minun

If you have an older sibling, you likely know how it feels to always be compared to them. It’s quite irritating having your every move judged by parents or teachers to another person, especially if they set the bar very high.

You may have similar interests to your older sibling which only makes it easier for you to be judged by. School is the worst because of course you have to go through the same things they did and you might get the same teachers who already have expectations of you because of the impression your older sibling left.

I can’t stand the feeling of constantly being measured to my older sibling. In a way, I feel I lose a part of my identity whenever someone looks at me and asks if I am related to *insert name of older sibling.*  Even if I’m trying to the best of my abilities to do something, if I don’t measure up to my older sibling then I’m considered inferior. This is just soul crushing and quite ignorant on the part of those who are judging.

You aren’t an exact clone of your older sibling. You have different friends, different interests, different preferences and have entirely different life experiences compared to your sibling.

Your life isn’t going to go exactly the same as theirs did. You may have similarities, and some things may not be so different but the vast majority of who you are is different.

I think it’s ignorant of people to judge and compare you to your sibling and expect the same results is because they never consider the differences between the two of you. They only see that you share the same parents and a last name, but that has very little to do with who you are as a person.

For example, my parents treat me differently than my siblings. I get more chores than they do and I bet something similar happens to you too. It’s almost impossible for parents to be completely fair to all their children and there are imbalances. These imbalances affect our daily lives and can have a big impact in the long run.

If you ever feeling the stress of performing just as well as your sibling, I can definitely relate and I know that it can be hard not to feel that way. However, it’s important to remember that you are who you are and your sibling is who they are. The world’s already met your sibling, but it hasn’t met you!

Feeling frustrated with always being compared to your sibling? Need to rant? Talk to us.


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