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Peer Talk

I don’t like the way that I look and its affecting my life

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Hey there, thanks for reaching out today. It definitely sounds like you have a lot going on in your life so I just want to commend you for having the strength to reach out to us. Self-image and self-esteem can be very difficult topics to deal with, and many people struggle with conforming to society’s unrealistic standards of beauty and appearances.


Feeling alone and isolated is a difficult thing to deal with for anyone. Talking about your feelings and being able share them with someone is always important for self-care. Do you have a trusted adult or family member who you would be comfortable sharing your feelings with? If not, it might be a a good idea to talk to a therapist or counselor about your feelings, so that they aren’t being bottled up inside of you. Of course, you can always talk to us through online chat or phone-call, but it might be more beneficial to rely on someone in your life for daily support. It’s also very important to practice self-care when you’re feeling down and having negative thoughts so that you can cope with the things that are plaguing you. Coping mechanisms include anything from taking a bath, reading a book, watching a good movie, or going for a run. Anything that you enjoy doing can be used as a coping mechanism for you to relax and de-stress from the things that are currently bothering you.


Self-esteem is a difficult thing to deal with, as it is common for us to judge ourselves more harshly than we would other people. A lot of people have very high expectations for themselves, and can tend to critique themselves harshly when they aren’t met. The basis for these expectations could be what they see in other people, in society, or in common culture, but they tend to forget that these images are usually unrealistic and untrue. Not conforming to these standards doesn’t make you any less beautiful or worthy.


Moreover, being able to see the worth and value in yourself is definitely a difficult topic to deal with. What may work for some people may not necessarily work for others. Here’s a blog on our website that discusses self-love, a very similar topic: As mentioned in the blog, it’s quite common for people to tend to focus on the negative aspects of their character while disregarding all of their amazing qualities. I’m sure you’ve heard the saying before, that you’re “perfectly imperfect”, but it’s applicable to this situation.  Everyone is beautiful in their own ways and although it may be difficult to believe, sometimes all it takes is a change in your thought process.


Lastly, would it be fair for me to say that your thoughts about your looks have been influenced by what you’ve seen on social media, TV, magazines, etc. If not, feel free to completely disregard this paragraph! Nonetheless, things like social media are notorious for imposing its extremely unrealistic standards and expectations. I’m sure you’ve heard this before but social media is full of photos that have been photo-shopped or edited one way or another; it wouldn’t be fair for you to compare yourself to those photos of models that you see! It’s absolutely absurd that the standard of beauty has been so unfairly skewed because of social media. Despite that, I can understand how you feel and it’s definitely okay for you to feel this way! You’re not alone in how you feel, and it truly is awful that it is an unfortunate consequence of social media’s incredibly high expectations.


Once again, thank you for reaching out to us with such a great question! If you do require any immediate support please text us at 587.333.2724 (open in the evenings), or call us at 403.264.8336 (open 24/7). There’s also a confidential chat where you can chat with a youth volunteer that you can access through our website here:


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